HARD COLD FACTS

Hello Gruffs,

Here thinking about you and somehow your old name came to mind as I thought I would write a note to you.

Today felt so good at first and then there was a rapid deterioration of feelings. It could be that I just did not want to accept the truth but it more seemed like I was and have been slammed over and over again.

Let me first say that I enjoyed the fact that you brought the meals over and that in spite of everything, you were so respectful and so much more open about most things. Just to talk was a good thing and much more so because I see our problem as rooted in lack of or poor communication, so with open communication, there is hope, great hope.

On the other hand, much of our physical connection and or body language contradicted the verbal communication and so I feel a sense that I do not know how to take what comes out verbally. In any case I have to hear what you say and process it from there. Let me say this for starters, I have asked you on a few occasions about anybody else being in the picture now or before and you have categorically denied it and so I will accept that, however, if you change your mind or decide to start a new encounter with someone else then please let me know and I will be quick to let go and let you enjoy the new era in your life.

Our marriage while having its ups and many downs, is very important to me especially because I know the consequence of losing it. As a result, am making every effort and will continue as long as possibilities are alive.  The issue though, is that I am up against your insecurity and therefore requirement to have some sense of backup or not wanting to burn your bridge from someone that you think has helped you so much.

We have to take a step back and just figure out what is the right thing to do. Now, I know that we have feelings and that you have been hurt, however, hardening your heart only eliminates or pros-pones healing and forgiveness and reconcilliation ending in an irretrievable situation.

I am deeply concerned about your positions and just how you have arrived at this point. It seems that in spite of your denial, you have been listening to some folks who, for some reason, seem to be able to steer you down a road that is bent on destroying everything concerning us. What is clear is that you are unable to see that none of your advisers, (and I mean none), really have your best interest at heart. They feel that it is only ok when they are the ones controlling and manipulating you.

Our marriage should be and is most important and I have expressed on many occasions how I feel about it and that we owe ourselves the opportunity to make every effort to allow for healing and restoration with the help of God.  If you keep discussing all we talk about with your new found supporter I am not surprised that you have consistently returned with a different attitude.

Babes, I am not going to allow some woman or women who do not have a life of their own, or who have consistently damaged other families, to influence my life or wreck it. I know that you will deny it but the truth is that because you were told that if you go back home, you would not be welcome back, so you are terrified to make the right move.
The truth is that you are being pressured to go all with way with ending our marriage. The truth is that you are under pressure to shake me down as she has done to other men.  The truth is that you know better but just have not been able to get the courage to do the right thing.

The truth is that unless you leave that tyrant’s house you will get yourself in deep waters and end up living her lifestyle and be as miserable as she is. I am really disappointed in the way you have a don’t care attitude about us and our children and everything concerning us. There are serious issues that need to be considered and you are not. I have done all I can and I just cannot see any progress so enough is enough.  This cannot be a one-sided affair where I make all efforts and you do not reciprocate.

I think that you should stop allowing these people convince you that you are a nut case, you need to stop letting them preaching fear to you, you need to start getting back to the place where you are trusting God to be BIG.
I think that you should start praying for your marriage.
I think that you should recognize that you have something (while not perfect), is something that can be happy and loving and the envy of most of your advisers.
I think that you should stop talking to anyone else about us as suggested to you some years ago.

Please get back to basics and let God do His work on us.

You cannot get out of God’s will and expect Him to fix it according to your plan. You cannot use a sermon that someone preached to use it as direction for your life when the direction goes directly against God’s word. It is about time that you are able to read the word and follow it and trust God to stand by His word. Just about every church was preaching about change and season of change coming into the end of the year (2009) so a message of change telling you to walk through a door could not be telling you to exit the door of your marriage. That would be God going against Himself. I wonder where your Word in you is.

If this what you want and you merely want to justify it then please let me know. But, if you are truly seeking God, then get in line with His word and let him do His job. He will not come in and bless what He has already renounced. Regardless of what I have done or what these little gods advise, you are required to do the right thing. Let God work on our behalf, we need to let go before making decisions, instead of making decisions and then ask Him to work with our decisions.