HARD COLD FACTS

There has been some good, probably a lot of good that can come out of our struggles.
It is so amazing that as I reflect, I see a whole lot more than I saw before, therefore, from now on I will suggest we make time at intervals to have self imposed “time outs” or “time alone” so as to look into self and make immediate adjustments.

Listed below are new revelations that I am now aware of
Expectation of at least the same help and support given to our kids but was never expressed…..I am just not thinking….
The negative effect of shouting compared to what had seemed to me to be a positive result…..
Graduation incident….so many other options, just plain dumb…..no excuses.
Emotional and maternal response to inheritance and not malicious or disloyal as originally thought.
Calling cell after work taken as a way to monitor or watch and has nothing to do with office efficiency.
Monitoring office calls taken as mistrust instead of a way to improve service and support.
Suggestion for us to live at 419 was only to end discussion and not something that she really wanted or accepted.
I was doing the same thing I was saying not to do. “T” is at Pennant Ter. while I am recommending a different arrangement for S/Hill.
Critical business suggestion about cake production taken as personal criticism, so much more personal encouragement and big-up for cakes needed.
This is one that I might be the only one that will agree…….so much arguing at the office may have caused resentment to the point of driving her to want to be somewhere else, (for example, nursing), and so anything that had to do with the office was a task and a drag.
This idea of my wife being a member of staff when at work and then my wife at home just doesn’t fly. My wife is my wife wherever she is, whether at work, home, in the car, school and anywhere else, so she expects to be treated accordingly. She needs a hug, kiss and anything else she is ready for at any time of her choosing so I will not lose sight of that.

Recommendations for us:
ME:
Think, Think, Think with my heart, then go to my brain when it comes to my baby.
Look for ways to make expression of her views comfortable and easy.
Make sure that criticisms are at the right time and are made in love.
Look for opportunities to praise and show appreciation for even the small things.
Be sensitive to her silence and get help for her to get it out before gets worse.
Get away regularly and spend time together alone so that we have opportunities to show love and attention to each other without any of the usual chores and duties at home getting in the way.
Encourage her to get away by herself so that she can have some “me time”. She will appreciate being back more.

YOU:
Speak up and be clear so as to leave no doubt about your position. It makes life easier for both of us.
Show your emotions.
Do not give answers just to end discussion, but hold on to what you believe still.
A hug with your wishes and desires always worked and still will.

If mi did kno seh….well, now mi kno, so mi wi mek sure seh mi kno nex time.