Yesterday brought home to me exactly how our actions as men and more importantly, husbands has far reaching implications to our marriage and even greater for other men.
After listening to a man express how much he got out of his relationship with his ex-partner and how he set limitations and expectations for her life and whatever concerned her, I asked him what did he think she got out of it and what was he offering. I plainly asked him, “what is in it for her”? His response was boisterously silent. Yes he could not state one thing that he thought she would get out of the relationship with him nor could he say what he was offering.
It was really sad to know that someone had that kind of mindset, kind of a parasitic mentality in a relationship. On the other hand, I believe I have lived the past 35 years thinking of how to include, share and do with the one I love. I have always thought we, us, our, and family when it comes to my decisions and yet it comes across as otherwise. I know that some of my other actions will seem to contradict my honorable intentions but I also realize that these actions also influences how people think of men in general.
This man I mentioned earlier has been selfish and was using his partner only for his benefit alone. It was not a mutual thing and paints a bad picture for other men who might have been totally different. My own actions of of control and being abusive in the simplest way is no better because my loved one/ones feel the abuse and that is all that really matters. This picture will let the world and the legal system tend to treat men in general, as though they had that same mindset. It is not fair, but it just came to me that if that is what they have seen and that is what they have heard, then you can’t blame them to be cautious and err on the side of protecting the woman.
As someone who has always been about family and about us and not a me or I thing, I now have to be sure that I also make it appear to those I love that this is what I stand for. I have to make sure that my actions reflect my intentions fully without having to tell my loved ones how I feel. It is therefore imperative that we think about the feelings of others and act accordingly because the person we might be ultimately affecting is out own selves as men.
This is easy and yet so easy to overlook, so the mission is set.
Think of the other person’s feelings before acting or speaking.
Live and enjoy…..(this might be strange if you don’t know the full context…..smile)