HARD COLD FACTS

Seems like finally I got where your fear of me came from.
What I think I saw was someone who genuinely had great fear because of a barrage of hostile and aggressive behaviors in some months prior to October.  Yes that is true and it came across as one who is very angry and could have done just about anything. There was nothing that could be said that was not met with hostility, it seem like anything that was said was some kind of trick and every action was met with skepticism and a hostile reaction.
The air was just a hostile environment, and that is the truth I cannot deny.

My hostility and general behavior was inappropriate and would bring fear to anybody that was on the receiving end.  After listening to you and seeing your expressions even after so long, it was clear that I scared you and also hurt you by my responses.

I could explain how I was feeling and what drove me to act that way but that is not important, what is important is that I responded or better yet, reacted in a real bad way and that is the only point that needs to be made.

My hurt and anger and lots of pain and tears were real emotions at the time and I said things that came across real scary. I could feel your fear when I heard you answer the question about what you could not handle  and I can now understand where “all of a sudden” fear that I could not comprehend came from. I am ashamed of the way I treated you and it has been bothering me ever since you expressed your feelings on Sunday.

We are just in a vicious cycle, one where communication is void in a bad way. I should have waited for a couple hours or the next day and just let you know that you had hurt me. That would probably have brought an explanation. Or you could have sat me down and talked to me about your reasons for your decisions and explained how you felt. But then, the environment was not usually one that encouraged you to voice your views. My bad, again….

We need to be able to clearly communicate our feelings and opinions and we have to find a way for us to feel free to express them and I am committed to doing my part to facilitating your unhindered voice..

In summary, I now see where those final weeks of hostility brought on so much fear that you had to do what you thought was necessary to protect yourself. Let’s make on thing very clear, I never ever thought of hurting you, I was so hurt myself that the only person I was selfishly thinking about was me, and how I am going to cope. I acted out inappropriately and was totally wrong.

There is no excuse and regardless of what you said, my actions were wrong. There are so many other ways to handle that situation. Thanks for bringing it to my attention on Sunday and expressing it clearly for me so that I now understand your fears and how my behavior affected you.

Regardless of how I felt, I was wrong in how I responded to you and I am sorry. Please know this, you are always first for me and I will never hurt you, I will make sure not to say or do anything to make you feel intimidated or fearful ever again. Believe me, whatever the problem is, I will only be approaching it from a point of love. Feel free to talk and express your feelings anytime, I will always be open to you.

Luv you baby

When you do not want to come face to face with the very person you are accusing,  is there some underlying reason? When you say that you are afraid to confront the person even with much security in place, is there some other underlying reason?

When you claim fear although you willingly place yourself in the company of the same person you are afraid of and all alone with them, then where is the fear?

The question is, what is the real reason?

What is the real motive?

When you need to ask so many people what they would do, is that fear?

When you chose to ask advice on the direction you take from those who need direction themselves, is that fear?

When you need advice from people who have not overcome their own problems in marriage, is that fear?

Clearly there is no fear, but instead, there is confusion and an unwillingness to accept truth and stick to it and trust God. There is a mission to create a perception that will get support even at the expense of not doing right.

My only prayer is that you will wake up and open your eyes, or better yet, that God will wake you up and open your eyes to see truth to know who your real enemies are, to know that you do not have to tear me down in order to feel that you are lifted up or have power. I pray that God will show you that you do not need advice from anywhere other than the word.

My prayer is that you will stop looking at my own confidence as something that makes you look less than who you are but instead that it will be an encouragement to gain that same confidence. Two confident people working toward the same goals can only bring success and victory.

The devil and his folks do not like that so expect to see him and his folks try to divide us in order to conquer. But, he is a liar, the father of all lies and we cannot live according to a lie.

God’s perfect will will be done regardless of their efforts and God will get the glory and people will be saved when they see how good God is.

Expect it now, God wins every time, the devils do not have a chance.