HARD COLD FACTS

from Central New Testament – Richard Notice
3 Things not to do when your going through a season of discouragement.

1. Do not lose your desire for God.
In Ps 42 the psalmist was down and trodden down but did not lose his desire for God.When there is a season of discouragement I must seek God more than ever.
Matt 14:13 Save me – Look to the Lord
Do not give up at the brink fo my miracle, I am a winner.

2. Do not listen to my detractors.
Do not stick with folks who are doubters.
In Ps 42:3 they ask “where is thy God?”
He who controls his hearing controls his destiny. Do not give up.
Wait at the altar for my deliverance and it will come.
When Jesus fixes it, it is well fixed. When Jesus changes it, it is changed well. When Jesus turns it around it is turned well. When Jesus breaks it up it is broken up well.

3. Do not focus on what ungodly people or taunters say.
Cry out to God, bawl out to God. Tell jesus.
Speak to the road block, tell it to MOVE, SPEAK TO IT.
Ps 42:4 says When discouragement comes I have to remember the good things of the past. My good memory can be my gateway to my breakthrough.
My memory can can set me up for my deliverance.
REMEMBER THAT THE SAME GOD WHO BROUGHT BARBARA IN 1998 WILL BRING HER BACK 2010.
Speak to God and self long before I go to someone else to talk to.
Do not seek darkness (like Obeah men) to get out of darkness. No Obeah men or other demonic things.

My season change has come.
My breakthrough has come for my family and home.

Yesterday brought home to me exactly how our actions as men and more importantly, husbands has far reaching implications to our marriage and even greater for other men.

After listening to a man express how much he got out of his relationship with his ex-partner and how he set limitations and expectations for her life and whatever concerned her, I asked him what did he think she got out of it and what was he offering. I plainly asked him, “what is in it for her”? His response was boisterously silent. Yes he could not state one thing that he thought she would get out of the relationship with him nor could he say what he was offering.

It was really sad to know that someone had that kind of mindset, kind of a parasitic mentality in a relationship. On the other hand, I believe I have lived the past 35 years thinking of how to include, share and do with the one I love. I have always thought we, us, our, and family when it comes to my decisions and yet it comes across as otherwise. I know that some of my other actions will seem to contradict my honorable intentions but I also realize that these actions also influences how people think of men in general.

This man I mentioned earlier has been selfish and was using his partner only for his benefit alone. It was not a mutual thing and paints a bad picture for other men who might have been totally different. My own actions of of control and being abusive in the simplest way is no better because my loved one/ones feel the abuse and that is all that really matters. This picture will let the world and the legal system tend to treat men in general, as though they had that same mindset. It is not fair, but it just came to me that if that is what they have seen and that is what they have heard, then you can’t blame them to be cautious and err on the side of protecting the woman.

As someone who has always been about family and about us and not a me or I thing, I now have to be sure that I also make it appear to those I love that this is what I stand for. I have to make sure that my actions reflect my intentions fully without having to tell my loved ones how I feel. It is therefore imperative that we think about the feelings of others and act accordingly because the person we might be ultimately affecting is out own selves as men.

This is easy and yet so easy to overlook, so the mission is set.
Think of the other person’s feelings before acting or speaking.

Live and enjoy…..(this might be strange if you don’t know the full context…..smile)

It is so good when you get a word from God, and when it is confirmed you can rejoice because you know that you are definitely hearing from God. He said that I should stop going back on things of the past and that I was causing a cycle to repeat itself. Just forgive and forget and we will go from strength to strength.
My Princess confirmed that there has been fear and it seems that she is worrying that when she returns that I will hold on to what she has now done on this last episode. I do not think that she understands that I am committed to obeying the word from God more that even satisfying her, but when I get a word, I obey….plain and simple.
I gave reassurance that there is no need to fear, and have never thought of hurting her, but I understand her fear that it is real to her.

God will show her because He said that He has spoken to her about our marriage so I am confident that He is working on that area as well.

God is so good so I have to just trust Him, so forgive and forget….FORGET IT!

It is all well and good to figure out where I went wrong, or the many places I went wrong, but when I started feeling how you felt about my inflicted pain, I suddenly started feeling guilt for all the pain I have caused.

Going to God for forgiveness, telling you I am sorry, and everything remorseful is understandable, but something has still been missing. A sense of how could I have done all that to someone I love, questions about how you felt, how you dealt with it, how you are dealing with it now, how you are currently feeling about those pains and many more unanswered questions. We sometimes say “I know how you feel” but I probably cannot know for sure, but I can and will take every opportunity afforded me to treat you in a way that will show you love and compassion and support you through the healing process.

After over a month of feeling this guilt and praying, asking for forgiveness and receiving it from God and my Baby, I was still feeling helpless and pained. This went on for weeks and I just had to put a “good” face on the outside and get through the days, but yesterday something broke when I saw Kenny. I asked for a minute with him and from that point on, I started to learn how to channel my feelings to bring healing, (not making her heal), to my baby. He encouraged me and confirmed to me that these feelings show that change is taking place in me and he also gave me pointers on what to do about them.

3 Steps I learnt that will help me and hopefully others when I become aware of the pain I have inflicted.
RECOGNIZE
Recognize and acknowledge my actions and pain I have caused.

RESTITUTION
Make restitution (when possible)
Great way to to start is listening, I really mean listening.
Make amends if material oriented.
Make amends if it is action oriented, like helping with school etc.
or whatever I did or did not do that caused hurt.
(In other words, make it right with the person)

CONSISTENCY
Be consistent in appropriate actions.
Keep doing them even if she does not acknowledge them because they are still influencing her in some way.
MY NOTE (If done from the heart, then getting acknowledgement does not matter, although it would be nice)

In doing all these things I will be a facilitator of healing and not the healer. My job is to help you heal, not to fix or not to make you heal.

This process will speed up the healing process and ease the guilt which gives the opportunity for building a better relationship.

I will be there with you and for you as you heal daily.
It is good to feel guilty (not condemnation), because that will bring change and we all benefit.

Lu u