October « 2009 « HARD COLD FACTS

WWJD – What would Jesus Do?

Friday, October 16th, 2009

After a few days or waiting and pondering in my heart what has gone so wrong that caused my baby to run off again, I came up with many things I have to take responsibility for and do what it takes to make the changes necessary. I also looked to heaven and had to acknowledge my failures and asked “How do you see and deal with this lord?”

What would Jesus say and do about me, about Barbara, about our marriage?

In Matt 18 He tells us how to handle our conflicts and wrongs against each other
15Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican

My prayer has always been that the person or persons that are closest to me would tell me my faults in no uncertain terms so that I can have the opportunity to correct them.
I hope that love will still make this possible between Barbara and I.

In Mark 10, Jesus addresses divorce.
2And the Pharisees (NON CHRISTIANS) came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
4And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10And in the house his disciples, (FIRST CHRISTIANS) ASKED HIM AGAIN of the same matter.
11And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, COMMITTETH ADULTRY against her.
12And if a woman shall PUT AWAY HER HUSBAND, and be married to another, she COMMITTETH ADULTRY.

Jesus tells me here that as a christian, I am not governed by Moses law but instead, I have a higher standard to live up to than the PHARASEES in the secular world.
In the world, they can divorce for fornication or adultery, because their heart has been hardened.
But as Disciples / Christians, in Verse 10-12, He has set a different standard, one that implies that we are married for life. We are to allow God to soften our hearts and be forgiving and apply the higher standard of being forever one flesh together.
In the same way Jesus spoke to his disciples again in Luke 16:1 and said to them in Verse 18 that marrying again would commit adultery, implying that you are still married in His sight even after putting her/him away.

Then, Ephesians 5:21-26 talks about expectations of wives and husbands but I will deal with husbands mainly.
21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

This is where I have failed badly because I just realized something I never ever noticed.
In verses 21, 22, 24 I see that submission to each other is big and I like that, but then verse 23 says something that just jumped out at me.
I am the head and that is great but along with being head comes a BIG RESPONSIBILITY when it says “AND HE IS THE SAVIOR OF THE BODY.” I am therefore to be always there to support, protect, ready to save my wife (including from failing in college), making sure she is happy and successful, willing to lay down my life for her (verse 25), and treat her just the way Jesus treats and sees her. In other words, if Jesus is the Savior of the church, I have to feel that sense of responsibility to my wife from an earthly perspective. I missed that mark big time, because in the most important area, I failed.
I am to give her the same sense of security that Jesus gives us, so that she knows I will always be there for her, never forsaking her, always supporting her and will go the extra mile for her. To be gentle as Jesus when dealing with her, covering her weaknesses and glorifying her strengths.

My prayer is that because we love each other and have overcome much together that we can also overcome these issues together and make a happier brighter future together.

Yes we can and will if we give it one more chance. I can only ask for a chance to make things right and to commit totally to being the best husband I can possibly be for the rest of our lives.

I know that it is hard sometimes but God will give us the grace to do it as we seek to live in his perfect will because He knows that we love each other and need His help to realize total happiness together and in Him.

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